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Do you want to know how we make Skype? Like… really? really really?

Due to the distributed nature of the teams, we use chat a lot. Now, the good thing about the chats is of course that everything you “say” gets recorded. And we’ve been collecting the “best of” from these chats. Sort of our own little mini-version of bash.org, one of the best Internet sites for geek jokes.

Here’s a mini-policy for these. For obvious reasons, you won’t find references to any “sensitive” stuff, ongoing products or projects. I’ve anonymized the quotes to protect the innocent. However, what you see here is 100% genuine, with perhaps only typos corrected and some four-letter words “asterisked”, and comes straight from the Guts Of The Organism That Is Making Skype.

It may be disturbing at times. Unexpected. Maybe funny. Maybe at times not so intelligent as the stuff in 37signals’ chats. (As said, some of the good stuff also has to be left out.) Sometimes black humor. As Jaan, one of Skype’s founding engineers has said…

I like the Monty Python-esque atmosphere in Skype — everything and everybody can be laughed at and being serious is considered a crime (I think you’ve noticed the attitude if you’ve browsed this far on our website)! So, if you don’t have a sense of humor, please don’t apply for a job at Skype, thank you!

If one of Skype’s masterminds says it, this is how it must be So… here are some quotes.

A: B would like to have a speech
B: I have a dream
C:

the problem with massive chats is that you boys always turn serious scientific effort into 5th grade class trip to zoo

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“why does skype allow random idiots to call me?” <– the solution would be if anyone can mark ‘Im an idiot’ checkbox in the profile, so we can deny calls from idiots

ok, lets not dwell on it. perhaps its just “cultural differences”… also, I’m a complete moron and 40% drunk. Ill try to identify it while sober… I cant do anything about the moron part though… sorry

X: “This is one of those times, where you do not know exactly whether the other person is right or just full of sh*t.”
Y: “No, I am almost sure that you are full of sh*t.”

What is a sauna? Is that just another place where you drink?

we’re going boldly where no… wait. where many great corporations have gone before – 5 managers to 1 guy who actually does something useful ratio

(about some fraud related credit card policy)
“I think this policy is a direct result of smoking bad weed.”

(fun trivia fact: in early versions of Skype, your default profile picture, if you didn’t update it, was the black silhouette of Niklas’ photo, this is what the discussion refers to)
A: “the default avatar is definitely a male figure .. shouldn’t we have a female figure for a user if she’s set female in the profile ?”
B: “you mean a drag-queen version of niklas? “
C: “we shouldn’t discriminate. what if someone is a dog. or without a head.”